THE POWER OF SELF-IDENTITY

ITALIAN dramatist and poet Ugo Betti (1892-1953) remarked that, “There is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely.” The greatest success in life is just to be who you are. Apart from being you, you cannot be successful at being anybody else. You can only be the best you. You cannot be the best of your friends, parents or role models. To experience real peace and inner fulfilment, we have to be true to who we are. If you are driven by the desire to be another person, then there would be no need for your existence on earth because you will be a fake. The world has no room for people who are not real. You’ve got to be an original you.

In moving through life, it is important that you come to terms with who you are and live out that identity. There is no way you can make your life count without counting your life. If you don’t say “I am” nobody will say “You are.” Quite often when I meet a person for the first time I introduce myself; I stretch out for a handshake and say something like, “Hello! I am Terry Mante and I am pleased to meet you.” Then the other person normally responds, “Hi Terry! I am pleased to meet you too.” In such a situation, the person is able to call my name because I say “I am Terry Mante.” From then onwards, the person deals with me as Terry. The way you identify yourself determines how the world identifies you and responds to you.

Addled inventor
Identification is your platform for engagement in life. The reason I write and speak is because I have identified myself as an author and speaker. If I had recognised myself as a singer, I would have been making music. In 1854, when Reverend G. B. Engle belittled one of his students as “addled,” the seven-year old boy got infuriated and moved out of the Port Huron Michigan School. He moved out because he did not see himself as addled or confused but he saw himself as an inventor. He did not stay in the school to try to impress his teacher. He moved on to live up to his self-identity. This boy grew up to become the man we all know as Thomas Edison. By the time he died in 1931 at the age of 84, Edison had gone on record as America’s most prolific inventor with over a thousand patents for such marvels as microphone, telephone receiver, record player, motion picture projection, office copiers, incandescent electric light and many more. Don’t accept tags placed on you by others unless they affirm your own self-identity.

Ali, the greatest
Long before he was recognised as Heavyweight Champion of the World, boxing legend Muhammad Ali identified himself as one. He started dreaming about it at 14; he was sure that one day he would be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. At that time his only worry was that he couldn’t “even beat anybody in [his] own gym.” So he asked his trainer Joe Martin, “Can I?” Martin’s response was depressing. Ali narrates in his autobiography that Martin shook his head doubtfully and said, “You hardly weigh a hundred and fifteen pounds soaking wet. You know how big a heavyweight is? Maybe you could be a lightweight.”

But Ali knew his identity. He knew who he was and what he could be. His response to Martin’s remarks was affirmative, “But I want ‘heavyweight.’ Somehow, although no one on either side of my family is that big, I feel I will be.” He moved away from Martin and the next day he began to do things that affirmed the conviction he had of himself. He trained earnestly and watched fights on TV with even keener interest. And now with the benefit of hindsight, we know that Martin was wrong and Ali was right. He did not allow Martins’ definition to inform him. He was driven by his conviction and by 1980 he had become a three-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Put on your own lens
If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others. See yourself through the eyes of your convictions and aspirations. “You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself,” says American author Zig Ziglar.

© Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana
http://terrymante.blogspot.com