CALCUTTA IS the capital of West Bengal state and one of India’s largest cities. In this city lived a woman who was well-known and highly-respected, both within India and across the globe. She was not known to be rich but she made a lot of impact; Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu (1910-1997)! You probably know her as Mother Teresa. From 1948 until her death in 1997, the Albanian-born nun devoted her life to helping the poor and the sick of Calcutta and other parts of India and the world at large. She founded Missionaries of Charities and opened shelter for dying people. Teresa lived for the under-privileged in society. Her life counted for the worn out, weak and weary. She was not wealthy but her life brought a wealth of hope, joy and inner peace to millions of people.
Now you! How will your story be told when the time comes? What meaning have you ascribed to your life? Are you just living to be successful? Success means getting what you desire out of life. So if a politician desires to win an election and goes on to win, that could be described as success. A student who passes an examination may be described as successful. But you see, the problem with success is that it is too narrow – if not selfish. More than becoming successful, we’ve got to make our lives count. We must aspire to be significant. Instead of seeing the world in terms of what we can get, we must see the world in terms of what we can give; how many people we can touch. I see Ben Franklin’s reflection that "I would rather have it said 'he lived usefully' than 'he died rich'" apt and witty. More than just words, it was the way Franklin lived his life. One example of his useful nature was the invention of the Franklin stove. Instead of patenting it and keeping it to himself, Ben Franklin decided to share his invention with the world. Leadership expert John Maxwell also posits that, “If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, and adding value to others, then you're living a life that counts!” A life that counts is a significant one that flows into the lives of others.
We can all become significant in various ways but here are three brief pointers on becoming significant.
• Discover your purpose. No one is on earth just to wander about or to add up to the numbers. We all have an assignment to fulfil, an answer to a question, a solution to a problem and a provision for a need. Every person on the face of the earth has a contribution to make. We make that contribution when we fulfil our purpose. Discovering and fulfilling our purpose is the vehicle by which we impact our world and add value to other lives.
• Develop your talent. A talent is an inborn ability that inclines us to perform certain tasks without necessarily being taught. To be able serve people with your talent effectively, you must find ways to sharpen it. This can be done via reading, regular engagement, mentorship and collaboration.
• Deploy yourself. You make great impact when you step out with confidence in what God has given you. If you don’t step out you can’t give out. Decide to release yourself unto your generation and you will have moved beyond success to significance.
Significance is attained when we allow what is inside us to come out to benefit others. Nelson Mandela’s conviction that South Africa could be free led him to fight for his country’s liberation. Thomas Edison’s quest for significance ushered us into the modern age of electricity. Jesus Christ’s passion for significance led Him to sacrifice to attain redemption for the entire human race. Those guys who offer assistance when the traffic light breaks down are expressing their significance through public spiritedness. Success is good but it is largely personal and could get selfish. Significance, on the other hand, is driven by the public good and it is selfless. It is better to be significant than to be successful. Success is great but we need to share our success with the world in order to be significant.
http://terrymante.blogspot.com
© 2010 Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
BOOK LAUNCH: BE OUR GUEST
Every space of ignorance will be occupied by failure in one aspect of your life or another. There is always a price to be paid for what you don't know - the cost of knowledge or the price of ignorance. Join us for the launch of the latest incisive and inspiring book by Terry Mante titled IT'S A BIG DEAL - Sunday September 12, 2010 at Teachers' Hall, Accra, Ghana.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A STORY THAT CHANGED THE ENTIRE WORLD
BY Terry Mante
March 2009
Accra, Ghana
Culled from http://terrymante.blogspot.com
THE ANTECEDENT OF EASTER
According to the Bible, God created the world and everything that constitutes it. He crowned His creation with human beings at the commanding heights. Our role was to partner with God to rule His kingdom. God wanted us to superintend the physical realm on His behalf. He gave us sufficient authority to dominate the earth as well as maintain and harness all the elements and resources of the earth. Somewhere along the line, we lost our guard and ceded our authority to another force. It then became necessary for God to repossess what man had relinquished. He sent His Son Jesus to carry out that mission.
THE MISSION OF EASTER
Jesus came to reclaim and repossess what man had given away. His intention was to restore us to our dignified position in life. Jesus’ operation on earth was to give us dominion over demonic forces and all the storms of life. The birth of Jesus was an announcement of a new dawn in human existence. His death symbolised the end of our bondage to elements of darkness. It marked the end of ignorance and insecurity in the mind and heart of man. It does not end there. Three days after His death, Jesus returned from the dead. He vanquished death; having done that He set the stage for our restoration. All the conditions necessary to put us back to our privileged position had been met.
THE OCCASION OF EASTER
Every year, when we celebrate Easter, we try to accentuate the mission of Jesus. We remember what Jesus did to restore our dignity. While we may want to go to the beach, play some games or participate in various church activities during Easter, we should not lose consciousness over its real essence. This year, as we celebrate the occasion, it must not just be a holiday; we should determine to make it a holy day. We must realise that the significance of Easter is to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. We have to be aware of how His death and resurrection influence our destiny.
THE PEOPLE OF EASTER
Somehow, Easter has come to be seen as a festival for Christians. Well, my own view is that Easter is a festival for humanity. At the time Jesus died, there was no Christianity. Christianity evolved only after Jesus had resurrected and ascended to heaven. Christianity as a religion is a creation of man. Easter is for every person who desires to have a meaningful existence. It is for people who are seeking to live a dignified life. Anybody who accepts what Jesus did qualifies to be part of Easter. If you acknowledge that the death and resurrection of Jesus was to give you a meaningful and dignified life, then you are the person of Easter; you have cause to celebrate and give thanks to God.
EVERYDAY IS EASTER
What Jesus did for us has daily significance. It is not exclusively useful to us during Easter. It benefits us every time; even when we are dead. It stands to reason that each day of our lives we acknowledge what He did for us. We must always walk in the consciousness that we have been redeemed by God through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Easter is not just an occasion, it’s a daily celebration.
March 2009
Accra, Ghana
Culled from http://terrymante.blogspot.com
THE ANTECEDENT OF EASTER
According to the Bible, God created the world and everything that constitutes it. He crowned His creation with human beings at the commanding heights. Our role was to partner with God to rule His kingdom. God wanted us to superintend the physical realm on His behalf. He gave us sufficient authority to dominate the earth as well as maintain and harness all the elements and resources of the earth. Somewhere along the line, we lost our guard and ceded our authority to another force. It then became necessary for God to repossess what man had relinquished. He sent His Son Jesus to carry out that mission.
THE MISSION OF EASTER
Jesus came to reclaim and repossess what man had given away. His intention was to restore us to our dignified position in life. Jesus’ operation on earth was to give us dominion over demonic forces and all the storms of life. The birth of Jesus was an announcement of a new dawn in human existence. His death symbolised the end of our bondage to elements of darkness. It marked the end of ignorance and insecurity in the mind and heart of man. It does not end there. Three days after His death, Jesus returned from the dead. He vanquished death; having done that He set the stage for our restoration. All the conditions necessary to put us back to our privileged position had been met.
THE OCCASION OF EASTER
Every year, when we celebrate Easter, we try to accentuate the mission of Jesus. We remember what Jesus did to restore our dignity. While we may want to go to the beach, play some games or participate in various church activities during Easter, we should not lose consciousness over its real essence. This year, as we celebrate the occasion, it must not just be a holiday; we should determine to make it a holy day. We must realise that the significance of Easter is to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. We have to be aware of how His death and resurrection influence our destiny.
THE PEOPLE OF EASTER
Somehow, Easter has come to be seen as a festival for Christians. Well, my own view is that Easter is a festival for humanity. At the time Jesus died, there was no Christianity. Christianity evolved only after Jesus had resurrected and ascended to heaven. Christianity as a religion is a creation of man. Easter is for every person who desires to have a meaningful existence. It is for people who are seeking to live a dignified life. Anybody who accepts what Jesus did qualifies to be part of Easter. If you acknowledge that the death and resurrection of Jesus was to give you a meaningful and dignified life, then you are the person of Easter; you have cause to celebrate and give thanks to God.
EVERYDAY IS EASTER
What Jesus did for us has daily significance. It is not exclusively useful to us during Easter. It benefits us every time; even when we are dead. It stands to reason that each day of our lives we acknowledge what He did for us. We must always walk in the consciousness that we have been redeemed by God through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Easter is not just an occasion, it’s a daily celebration.
Friday, March 19, 2010
WHY LARGER CHURCHES DON'T GROW
Dan Reiland
Culled from The Pastor's Coach
The names are changed, details protected, stories true. Hey, we can have a little privacy in the church! Redemption Church, in Windsor, Oregon grew at a steady pace for thirteen years to an attendance of about 1400 including kids. The worship auditorium seats 400 so they struggled a little with building capacity and parking. They continued to add services, growing from 2 one hour services to 3 on Sunday and then added 1 on Saturday night. They are prepared to go to a 2nd on Saturday night or a 4th on Sunday or both. So space is not an issue until well past 2,000 in attendance. Redemption has a strong local compassion ministry in the community and has a steady stream of visitors but hasn't grown in a year. A couple church board members think it's related to the economy, but the senior pastor assures them that while that might affect the income, it wouldn't prevent them from growing. There is no apparent reason for Redeemer to have stopped growing.
2nd Baptist in Norman, Virginia has averaged just a little over 3,000 for almost three years. They shot up quickly as a very successful church plant. 1st Baptist launched them with staff, money, and a huge building they renovated in a strip- mall. The building was formally a grocery store with lots of traffic in the area. The other businesses are still successful and pull in large numbers of people during the week. The parking is great and the renovation, now seven years old, has been well taken care of. There has been a little staff turnover, but nothing unusual. The worship services are amazing and the children's ministry is strong. Their small groups are above average. The church has a little coffee shop with a friendly vibe to it. The senior pastor is focused on evangelism. There seems to be no reason for the church to have stopped growing.
So what's the answer? How can these larger churches figure out the code to grow again? It's complicated, but not an unsolvable mystery. Prayer and fasting is required. Diligence is demanded. But these churches can grow again. If your church is anything like Redeemer or 2nd Baptist, your church can grow again as well. It's not easy, but absolutely doable.
The following are five possibilities for you to consider. The list can be longer, but these should be among the first things you have candid conversations about. Jump in, talk honestly, and see what you discover.
• Have you forgotten where you came from?
There was a day when every large church was small. The leaders chased every creature that breathed who showed any interest in attending. They also chased people who showed no interest in attending. Every individual mattered! The leaders were relentless in their pursuit of new people. Repeated phone calls and contacts were made with zeal. There was little money, lean and often inexperienced staff, and faith-filled vision was the best thing you had to offer. Zealots with vision and a promise!
Now, there are people everywhere you look. The church is strong. You have resources. You don't have time to mess with everyone's questions and concerns. You can't. If they leave, its not that you don't care, but there are twenty other people who want your time who are waiting in line. Success mixed with pressure can change your perspective in the wrong direction. You can forget where you came from.
You can't do ministry the same way in a larger church as you do in a smaller church, but your heart and passion must remain the same. Humility, zeal, and a spirit of hospitality are vital to continued growth. There is something about gratitude for people and dependence upon God that is critical for churches to grow. If that begins to slip, take some time to reflect on your humble beginnings. That may free up something deep within you that unlocks a key to your church growing again.
• Has innovation taken a back seat to excellence?
Doing things with a world-class bias for excellence is good, but not if you burn all your energy in doing things right, rather than doing the right things. Excellence is important but not if it stifles innovation. Innovation in some ways is counter-intuitive to excellence. Innovation is messy. It requires change. Innovation doesn't always work right the first time. But innovation is essential. Innovation keeps churches alive, healthy and growing.
I have a deep affection for small group ministry. In fact, I invested a tremendous amount of energy into small group leadership as part of my Doctor of Ministry program at Fuller Seminary. At that time, and for many years after, I possessed an unalterable belief that small groups could only be successful if done within a certain reproductive model involving apprentices and a certain time frame. Innovation has allowed me to discover, consider and implement something new. At 12Stone Church we now do small groups in a semester system. We had the previous system down to a near flawless science, but as good as it was, it wasn't keeping up with the needs of the church. Innovation got us to something new and improved. How you do small groups is not the point. Innovation is the point. The thing is that the process was messy, and we still don't have the semester system down to a science. But it's the right new thing for now, we have more people in small groups than ever. I suspect that when it's "perfected" it will be time for innovation! Get the point?
So what in your church is excellent but needs innovation? Is it your worship service, children's ministry, or world mission strategy? How about your efforts toward compassion and justice? Maybe its leadership development or your staffing systems. Always press toward innovation.
• Has the primary leadership become distracted?
Believe it or not leaders in large churches can get bored. Not because there isn't enough to do, but because they've been doing the same thing over and over again for years. This "boredom" leads to the potential to be distracted by other endeavors that appear more exciting and challenging. These "other endeavors" by themselves can be good, but perhaps need to be set aside until the church is growing again.
Distractions can also come in the form of pressure. Finance is a common source of tremendous pressure. If the financial problems of a church become so overwhelming that the key leaders can't help but be consumed by them, it is easy to see how they might lose sight of the vision. That's the primary definition of distraction. The leaders have taken their eyes of the main thing! The scary thing is that the leaders are working so hard in the midst of it all that they often can't see that they have become distracted. Asking the question is a good start and having outside help come in with fresh eyes is beneficial.
Distractions can come from a number of others things such as personal issues, discord in the church, lack of focus, unclear strategy or spiritual attack. How about your church, are you distracted or on target?
• Does the machine override the mission?
At 12Stone Church www.12Stone.com where I'm part of the leadership team, "mission over machine" is one of our mantras. At somewhere between 9,000 and 10,000 in attendance the machine has shown up and it's hungry. (It really kicked in at about 4,000). It demands all our attention and it's never satisfied. The machine always wants more but never gives more. We understand the need to be organized, to have policies, and the complexities of communication at this level. This is no longer a mom and pop deal. Life in a larger church is different. That's part of the price tag of reaching people. But you can never give in to the monster called "machine".
Mission must always come first. Hire for mission, organize for mission, invest financially for mission. Make the machine suffer on occasion. Make sure the machine serves you, not you serve it. For example, always hire for growth (first) over maintenance. The pressure to hire staff to help you with the "stuff" of the church will always be with you, and you will have to make some of those hires. But stay tough. Hire staff that help you reach the mission over staff that help you maintain what you have. You do, however, have to learn to live with the tension. Larger churches without good machinery fall into chaos. The machine is not going away, just keep it tamed. Show it whose boss. Mission first!
• Has a God-dependence been replaced by self-sufficiency?
No leader means to do this, but it happens. It is never a pastor or board member or small group leader's intent to take God's place, but it happens.
It's a strange process but easy to see how it happens. You trust God when there is little, because there is no option. The resources are few and you say: "Help me God because I can't do it without you." And God provides. Then there is more, perhaps even much more. Pressure exists when there is little to work with, but there is far more pressure when the resources are greater. This is true because there is so much more at stake. So you, or I, or anyone in leadership is tempted to take back the reigns of leadership because we can't risk that God will continue to be in control and take care of what is at stake. In your mind you know that is dumb. But in your everyday leadership you are tempted to step in and attempt to make things happen yourself. On paper it's crazy, but it's possible for leaders to get a little crazy.
For me, when I have too much work to do I'm tempted to pray less and work more. It's the same thing. Crazy! So the spirit of God prompts me to stay faithful in my prayer time and remain dependent upon the Father. This pattern always works, self-sufficiency never works.
I encourage you to take these five questions and take a close look at your church. Talk with your team and I trust that you will discover something that helps your church grow again. If your church is growing, these questions can serve as preventative medicine and help keep your momentum going.
Culled from The Pastor's Coach
The names are changed, details protected, stories true. Hey, we can have a little privacy in the church! Redemption Church, in Windsor, Oregon grew at a steady pace for thirteen years to an attendance of about 1400 including kids. The worship auditorium seats 400 so they struggled a little with building capacity and parking. They continued to add services, growing from 2 one hour services to 3 on Sunday and then added 1 on Saturday night. They are prepared to go to a 2nd on Saturday night or a 4th on Sunday or both. So space is not an issue until well past 2,000 in attendance. Redemption has a strong local compassion ministry in the community and has a steady stream of visitors but hasn't grown in a year. A couple church board members think it's related to the economy, but the senior pastor assures them that while that might affect the income, it wouldn't prevent them from growing. There is no apparent reason for Redeemer to have stopped growing.
2nd Baptist in Norman, Virginia has averaged just a little over 3,000 for almost three years. They shot up quickly as a very successful church plant. 1st Baptist launched them with staff, money, and a huge building they renovated in a strip- mall. The building was formally a grocery store with lots of traffic in the area. The other businesses are still successful and pull in large numbers of people during the week. The parking is great and the renovation, now seven years old, has been well taken care of. There has been a little staff turnover, but nothing unusual. The worship services are amazing and the children's ministry is strong. Their small groups are above average. The church has a little coffee shop with a friendly vibe to it. The senior pastor is focused on evangelism. There seems to be no reason for the church to have stopped growing.
So what's the answer? How can these larger churches figure out the code to grow again? It's complicated, but not an unsolvable mystery. Prayer and fasting is required. Diligence is demanded. But these churches can grow again. If your church is anything like Redeemer or 2nd Baptist, your church can grow again as well. It's not easy, but absolutely doable.
The following are five possibilities for you to consider. The list can be longer, but these should be among the first things you have candid conversations about. Jump in, talk honestly, and see what you discover.
• Have you forgotten where you came from?
There was a day when every large church was small. The leaders chased every creature that breathed who showed any interest in attending. They also chased people who showed no interest in attending. Every individual mattered! The leaders were relentless in their pursuit of new people. Repeated phone calls and contacts were made with zeal. There was little money, lean and often inexperienced staff, and faith-filled vision was the best thing you had to offer. Zealots with vision and a promise!
Now, there are people everywhere you look. The church is strong. You have resources. You don't have time to mess with everyone's questions and concerns. You can't. If they leave, its not that you don't care, but there are twenty other people who want your time who are waiting in line. Success mixed with pressure can change your perspective in the wrong direction. You can forget where you came from.
You can't do ministry the same way in a larger church as you do in a smaller church, but your heart and passion must remain the same. Humility, zeal, and a spirit of hospitality are vital to continued growth. There is something about gratitude for people and dependence upon God that is critical for churches to grow. If that begins to slip, take some time to reflect on your humble beginnings. That may free up something deep within you that unlocks a key to your church growing again.
• Has innovation taken a back seat to excellence?
Doing things with a world-class bias for excellence is good, but not if you burn all your energy in doing things right, rather than doing the right things. Excellence is important but not if it stifles innovation. Innovation in some ways is counter-intuitive to excellence. Innovation is messy. It requires change. Innovation doesn't always work right the first time. But innovation is essential. Innovation keeps churches alive, healthy and growing.
I have a deep affection for small group ministry. In fact, I invested a tremendous amount of energy into small group leadership as part of my Doctor of Ministry program at Fuller Seminary. At that time, and for many years after, I possessed an unalterable belief that small groups could only be successful if done within a certain reproductive model involving apprentices and a certain time frame. Innovation has allowed me to discover, consider and implement something new. At 12Stone Church we now do small groups in a semester system. We had the previous system down to a near flawless science, but as good as it was, it wasn't keeping up with the needs of the church. Innovation got us to something new and improved. How you do small groups is not the point. Innovation is the point. The thing is that the process was messy, and we still don't have the semester system down to a science. But it's the right new thing for now, we have more people in small groups than ever. I suspect that when it's "perfected" it will be time for innovation! Get the point?
So what in your church is excellent but needs innovation? Is it your worship service, children's ministry, or world mission strategy? How about your efforts toward compassion and justice? Maybe its leadership development or your staffing systems. Always press toward innovation.
• Has the primary leadership become distracted?
Believe it or not leaders in large churches can get bored. Not because there isn't enough to do, but because they've been doing the same thing over and over again for years. This "boredom" leads to the potential to be distracted by other endeavors that appear more exciting and challenging. These "other endeavors" by themselves can be good, but perhaps need to be set aside until the church is growing again.
Distractions can also come in the form of pressure. Finance is a common source of tremendous pressure. If the financial problems of a church become so overwhelming that the key leaders can't help but be consumed by them, it is easy to see how they might lose sight of the vision. That's the primary definition of distraction. The leaders have taken their eyes of the main thing! The scary thing is that the leaders are working so hard in the midst of it all that they often can't see that they have become distracted. Asking the question is a good start and having outside help come in with fresh eyes is beneficial.
Distractions can come from a number of others things such as personal issues, discord in the church, lack of focus, unclear strategy or spiritual attack. How about your church, are you distracted or on target?
• Does the machine override the mission?
At 12Stone Church www.12Stone.com where I'm part of the leadership team, "mission over machine" is one of our mantras. At somewhere between 9,000 and 10,000 in attendance the machine has shown up and it's hungry. (It really kicked in at about 4,000). It demands all our attention and it's never satisfied. The machine always wants more but never gives more. We understand the need to be organized, to have policies, and the complexities of communication at this level. This is no longer a mom and pop deal. Life in a larger church is different. That's part of the price tag of reaching people. But you can never give in to the monster called "machine".
Mission must always come first. Hire for mission, organize for mission, invest financially for mission. Make the machine suffer on occasion. Make sure the machine serves you, not you serve it. For example, always hire for growth (first) over maintenance. The pressure to hire staff to help you with the "stuff" of the church will always be with you, and you will have to make some of those hires. But stay tough. Hire staff that help you reach the mission over staff that help you maintain what you have. You do, however, have to learn to live with the tension. Larger churches without good machinery fall into chaos. The machine is not going away, just keep it tamed. Show it whose boss. Mission first!
• Has a God-dependence been replaced by self-sufficiency?
No leader means to do this, but it happens. It is never a pastor or board member or small group leader's intent to take God's place, but it happens.
It's a strange process but easy to see how it happens. You trust God when there is little, because there is no option. The resources are few and you say: "Help me God because I can't do it without you." And God provides. Then there is more, perhaps even much more. Pressure exists when there is little to work with, but there is far more pressure when the resources are greater. This is true because there is so much more at stake. So you, or I, or anyone in leadership is tempted to take back the reigns of leadership because we can't risk that God will continue to be in control and take care of what is at stake. In your mind you know that is dumb. But in your everyday leadership you are tempted to step in and attempt to make things happen yourself. On paper it's crazy, but it's possible for leaders to get a little crazy.
For me, when I have too much work to do I'm tempted to pray less and work more. It's the same thing. Crazy! So the spirit of God prompts me to stay faithful in my prayer time and remain dependent upon the Father. This pattern always works, self-sufficiency never works.
I encourage you to take these five questions and take a close look at your church. Talk with your team and I trust that you will discover something that helps your church grow again. If your church is growing, these questions can serve as preventative medicine and help keep your momentum going.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION
Leadership Revolution is an initiative of Personal Development Network (PEDNET) and Leaders League Worldwide to present leadership at the doorstep of young people.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
AN UNSINKABLE SHIP
BY TERRY MANTE
A COUPLE of years ago, a dear friend of mine sent me a text message that “There is only one unsinkable ship; it is friendship.” Even though within the context that the message was drafted and sent to me, it was meant to communicate a specific idea, I have come to appreciate this from a wider perspective. True friendship never sinks irrespective of the intensity of the tide that pushes against it. A great friendship is one that stands the test of time; goes through challenges and emerges firm and progressive. This week, my main task so far as this column is concerned is to express seven ingredients that characterise stable and unsinkable friendships.
1. Acquaintance: Friendships evolve from the foundation of acquaintance. An acquaintance is someone you know at the periphery. The impressions you get from your acquaintances help you to determine whether or not to proceed to establish a more intimate relationship with people.
2. Affirmation: Affirmation is the honest admission of what you recognise in a person. In any real friendship, the parties involved strive to accept people based on who they are. They are comfortable with each other’s strong points and definitely not embarrassed with their shortcomings and weaknesses. There is no insecurity as a result of somebody’s successes or strengths. Affirmation reinforces people’s strengths and inspires continuous progress. Any relationship that expects to sail through the storm without sinking must have a good dose of affirmation; a situation where each other’s strengths and personality are acknowledged.
3. Association: By association, I’m referring to the interactions you have with your friends as well as memories you have of them. Good friends spend quality time together and enjoy each other’s company. They create landmarks that serve as souvenir banks for the relationship.
4. Alliance: A friend is an ally. An ally is someone you cooperate with to achieve an aim. Friends collaborate to elevate each other on life’s ladder. They join forces to pursue ambitious tasks together. This boosts relationships and gives magnitude and direction to the relationship. Strategic alliances strengthen you and enhance your leverage in life.
5. Assistance: Apart from all that we’ve discussed, another key attribute of good relationships is mutual assistance. Whereas alliance is about things you do together, assistance is limited to help that you receive for your personal endeavours. Do your friends support you to achieve your personal tasks? What role do you also play when your friend is pursuing their own goals? Good relationships have mechanisms to help one with their pursuits of life.
6. Allegiance: Loyalty and commitment are essential hallmarks of every enduring relationship. You can’t have a lasting relationship with anyone if there is no assurance of commitment and trust. Each party in any relationship should be trustworthy. There should be an unshakable confidence on the part of your friend that you could be relied upon and vice versa. Where the spirit of allegiance prevails, there is trust and trust is a key sustainability factor in friendships.
7. Affection: Affection is the fondness and tenderness of feeling that you have towards another person or thing. It is that sensation that becomes the breeding ground for love. It is a necessary component of friendship. When allegiance, assistance, alliance, association, affirmation and acquaintance fail, affection is the fuel that will keep the relationship running. The intensity of affection in any relationship determines its elasticity.
When I was younger, I read a piece in a magazine that said that the word ‘friend’ is a contracted form of the words ‘free’ and ‘end.’ What the writer of that article sought to put across was that friendship has a free end. In other words, true friendship has no end. My interpretation then was that true friendship was one that had no end in communication; a relationship that continues for life. This has some validity but growing up, I have come to realise that significant friendship is one that makes a landmark impact on you. The impact of such a relationship lingers and sometimes has ripple effect on several vital aspects of your life. Certain principles and lessons you imbibe from some of your friends might be useful even in their absence. Having a true friend does not necessarily imply that you will have permanent contact but its significance may be eternal.
This week, do a “friends check” and discover who your true friends are.
© February 2009
Terry Mante
Monday, January 25, 2010
How to Develop a Positive Attitude
CHINESE philosopher Confucius profoundly stated that, “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” Many people want to do things that will impact significantly on the world. Confucius encourages us that such aspirations are not far-fetched but have a point of beginning. It starts with us; setting our hearts right, developing a positive attitude. A positive attitude will put us on the path that leads to the destination we desire. In this series, we shall consider five actions that can be taken to develop a positive attitude towards life. Before we dive into that, let’s form a common perspective on the subject under discussion; Attitude. There are three perspectives that I would like us to contemplate;
· Paradigm: When you pour water into a container, it assumes the shape of that object. Water has no shape of its own without a container. Your mind is the container that receives all your experiences and carves out your life. Your paradigm refers to how your mind has been set to respond to issues and interpret the realities of your life. Situations that confront us in life are neither adverse nor advantageous by themselves but settle in the patterns and systems by which we run our lives.
· Interpretation: When you wear a lens, every object within your scope of view takes on the colour of the lens. When you put on a blue-tinted lens, every object you observe through the lens may appear bluish. The realities of life cannot be changed but you can have your own interpretation. Before you form your conclusion about any issue, just ask yourself, “What is the colour of my lens?”
· Response: You don’t have so much control over what happens to you but you can certainly determine your response to what happens to you. Irrespective of what happens, it is always possible to choose your response. When you fall, you can choose to either remain down or rise up. How you choose your responses determines the impact situations have on you.
Here are five suggestions regarding how you can develop a positive attitude:
1. Fashion your mind for success: Former US President Abraham Lincoln advised a young man who aspired to study law to “always bear in mind that your own ambition to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If your ambition is positive, it will drive you to a positive destination. You cannot succeed in anything if you don’t make your mind up to succeed.
2. Filter what goes into your heart. The state of your heart is a direct result of the nature of its content. What you feed your life with is very crucial to determining what your attitude is. What books do you read? Which programmes do you listen to on radio? What is your favourite programme on TV? Who preaches to you every Sunday? You can’t have a disposition that is inconsistent with what you’ve been ingesting. You must filter every bit of information that comes to your gate and allow only what is beneficial to you to settle in your heart. By so doing, you progressively create a sense of optimism within you. Your perspective brightens and your general outlook on life will be embodied in a positive frame work.
3. Find great company. Good company enhances great values. The people around you determine the attitudes you nurture. To develop a positive attitude, you must have positive people around you. If you want to maintain sexual purity for instance, your closest friends should be people who esteem premarital abstinence, faithfulness to one’s spouse and sexual discipline. If there is such company around you, it offers the platform to share challenges, discuss practical initiatives and encourage each other.
Having people who believe in your potential also help you to have a positive mindset. If your best friends are those who do not believe in your future and have a low estimation of your capabilities, then you would do yourself a lot of good by replacing them. You have to hang around those who help you realise the possibilities of your life and inspire you with hope and confidence.
4. Focus on the good in any situation. Just as every coin has two sides, so does every situation have two faces. I learnt from Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do that success is failure turned inside out. Sometimes, people lose out of lifetime opportunities because they do superficial assessment of situations. Thomas Alva Edison categorically pointed out that, “Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Just because something does not look good does not make it absolutely awful. You must look for a little good and give it your maximum attention.
5. Foster a daily attitude of positiveness: Developing a positive attitude is not an event but a process. It cannot be done in a day but must be done daily. To consolidate a new attitude, one positive action at a time, an encouraging book, a new friend...at one time or another would culminate in the kind of person you want to be; little by little, here a little, there a little. Start small and you’ll end big!
“You cannot be healthy; you cannot be happy; you cannot be prosperous; if you have a bad disposition,” remarks, Emmet Fox. I trust that you will keep navigating the path of positivity.
© February 2009 Terry Mante
http://terrymante.blogspot.com
· Paradigm: When you pour water into a container, it assumes the shape of that object. Water has no shape of its own without a container. Your mind is the container that receives all your experiences and carves out your life. Your paradigm refers to how your mind has been set to respond to issues and interpret the realities of your life. Situations that confront us in life are neither adverse nor advantageous by themselves but settle in the patterns and systems by which we run our lives.
· Interpretation: When you wear a lens, every object within your scope of view takes on the colour of the lens. When you put on a blue-tinted lens, every object you observe through the lens may appear bluish. The realities of life cannot be changed but you can have your own interpretation. Before you form your conclusion about any issue, just ask yourself, “What is the colour of my lens?”
· Response: You don’t have so much control over what happens to you but you can certainly determine your response to what happens to you. Irrespective of what happens, it is always possible to choose your response. When you fall, you can choose to either remain down or rise up. How you choose your responses determines the impact situations have on you.
Here are five suggestions regarding how you can develop a positive attitude:
1. Fashion your mind for success: Former US President Abraham Lincoln advised a young man who aspired to study law to “always bear in mind that your own ambition to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If your ambition is positive, it will drive you to a positive destination. You cannot succeed in anything if you don’t make your mind up to succeed.
2. Filter what goes into your heart. The state of your heart is a direct result of the nature of its content. What you feed your life with is very crucial to determining what your attitude is. What books do you read? Which programmes do you listen to on radio? What is your favourite programme on TV? Who preaches to you every Sunday? You can’t have a disposition that is inconsistent with what you’ve been ingesting. You must filter every bit of information that comes to your gate and allow only what is beneficial to you to settle in your heart. By so doing, you progressively create a sense of optimism within you. Your perspective brightens and your general outlook on life will be embodied in a positive frame work.
3. Find great company. Good company enhances great values. The people around you determine the attitudes you nurture. To develop a positive attitude, you must have positive people around you. If you want to maintain sexual purity for instance, your closest friends should be people who esteem premarital abstinence, faithfulness to one’s spouse and sexual discipline. If there is such company around you, it offers the platform to share challenges, discuss practical initiatives and encourage each other.
Having people who believe in your potential also help you to have a positive mindset. If your best friends are those who do not believe in your future and have a low estimation of your capabilities, then you would do yourself a lot of good by replacing them. You have to hang around those who help you realise the possibilities of your life and inspire you with hope and confidence.
4. Focus on the good in any situation. Just as every coin has two sides, so does every situation have two faces. I learnt from Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do that success is failure turned inside out. Sometimes, people lose out of lifetime opportunities because they do superficial assessment of situations. Thomas Alva Edison categorically pointed out that, “Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Just because something does not look good does not make it absolutely awful. You must look for a little good and give it your maximum attention.
5. Foster a daily attitude of positiveness: Developing a positive attitude is not an event but a process. It cannot be done in a day but must be done daily. To consolidate a new attitude, one positive action at a time, an encouraging book, a new friend...at one time or another would culminate in the kind of person you want to be; little by little, here a little, there a little. Start small and you’ll end big!
“You cannot be healthy; you cannot be happy; you cannot be prosperous; if you have a bad disposition,” remarks, Emmet Fox. I trust that you will keep navigating the path of positivity.
© February 2009 Terry Mante
http://terrymante.blogspot.com
Thursday, January 7, 2010
YES, YOU CAN WALK ON WATER
HAVE you ever seen anybody defy the law of floatation to walk on the surface of water? In recent history I haven’t seen or heard anybody do that but from the Bible, I’ve read a scenario where Jesus walked on water to join His disciples on a watercraft in the middle of a lake. This happened at a time when the winds were blowing contrary to the direction of the sail. When the disciples saw Jesus initially, they were terrified. Jesus assuaged their fears and assured them that there was nothing to worry about. He then invited Peter, one of His disciples to approach Him by walking on the water. So long as Peter focused on Jesus, He stayed afloat. The moment he turned to look at the contrary winds, Peter began to sink. Considering that we are still in the morning of the new year I will like to bring to light some lessons inherent in this scenario and link them to our journey throughout the year.
- Uncertainty is part of life’s routine. Stepping into a new year is like attempting to walk on water. You cannot precisely predict everything that will happen in the year. Some people are very upbeat while others are pessimistic. I’m sure there are others who do not know what to expect. Whatever it is, any prediction we have is mere expectation. Since we do not have sovereign control over all occurrences of life, we cannot be cocksure that our expectations will spring forth into manifestation. If you are anxious about how the year is going to be for you, it’s normal. My only advice is that, don’t be ruled by your anxiety.
- You can do extraordinary things. There is no extraordinary person on the face of the earth but ordinary people do extraordinary things. Success is no respecter of persons. If Jesus walked on water, we may want to attribute that to His divine personality. How then do we explain Peter’s toddle on the water? He was an ordinary fisherman who decided to take a bold step toward his dream – his dream was to get to Jesus. He stepped onto the water not knowing what to expect. Nevertheless, he made it. Between where you stand and your dream is an uncertain path. What you need to do is to tread that path. It’s a path that you can travel on. No matter how unstable, uncertain or risky it may seem, you need to get going.
- The storms will come. When Barack Obama publicly announced his intention to go at the presidency, political pundits wrote him off. However, he braved the odds and eventually blazed the trail to become
- Keep your eyes on your goals. So long as Peter kept his eyes on his goal, he stayed afloat the water. The moment he looked at the storm, he began to sink. My friend, it’s important that you keep your eyes on your goals. While driving, if a driver turns away to stare at an accident scenario on the side of the road, you can almost predict what is likely to happen. The vehicle might run into another vehicle in front or a pedestrian who happens to be passing by. So long as the driver keeps his eyes on the windscreen he’ll be fine on the road. Don’t allow your challenges to distract you. You must determine that no matter what happens, you will not throw your dreams away. No matter how enormous your obstacles are, you’ll preserve your dreams.
© March 2009 Terry Mante
http://terrymante.blogspot.com
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