STRANDS OF TIME

AS AN author I have come to discover that I don’t need to have eight straight hours to produce one script for publication. I don’t even need to have one hour to be at my disposal at a particular moment in order to put together one piece of literary work. All I need is what I call “The Strands of Time” – a minute here to do a sentence, another minute there to cross a ‘t’ or dot an ‘I.’ The strand of time is probably the most powerful concept that has dawned on me in my quest to manage time effectively.

A strand is a thin piece of something such as wire, string, rope or hair which is put together to make up a complex whole. The strands of time refer to the inevitable moments of time that are often vacant. They are the minutes in-between meetings, hours in the queue at the bank, time spent in traffic, the ten or twenty minutes you spend waiting for the waitress to make good your meal order, the few seconds you spend while waiting for the lift or when you are in the loo.

The line “I don’t have time” comes up a lot when I interact with people, especially young executives. They are so busy that they are unable to even make time to add value to themselves, pray to God, maintain friendships and stay in touch with family. But then, in-between their busy schedules, they could exploit some opportunities to take care of certain important aspects of their lives. When you have a meeting and the meeting has not started, what do you do? When you are in a queue at the bank, do you complain or use time well? You don’t need the whole day to do the big things you want to do. You can do them in many few seconds.

Bathroom time: When I was much younger, I used to read newspapers in the toilet. At that time I was not conscious of the fact that I was redeeming time. But as I kept reading the papers over time, I realised I had become quite abreast of current affairs and that I could discuss many issues. In my present life, I read not only the newspapers in the toilet but I also read the Bible and other books. So I am able to kill many birds with one stone. Sometimes, I use that time to meditate and pray. So while I attend to my needs in the toilet, I also get other things done. But hey if you are experiencing constipation and you find yourself on the white throne, this advise may not be good for you. Just stay focused on your mission for being there.

Waiting time: In Ghana, one of the ways we experience leakages in time is to be on time for a programme or meeting. You arrive on time for a meeting with a CEO and you are asked to wait because the person is engaged in something else. Or you arrive at 5:30pm for a programme scheduled to start at 6pm. What about when you arrive exactly at 6pm and the programme starts half-an-hour or even an hour later? In all these situations – waiting for CEO or waiting for a programme to start – how do you make use of the waiting time? When you visit the restaurant and place your order, do you just sit and wait? Have you considered the time you spend every Saturday waiting for your turn at the hair salon?

From my experience, I have seen that such waiting times could be used productively. Most of the time, you would find me reading a book at that time. Other times, I would be sending a text message or checking out what the latest news in town is or updating my Facebook page – courtesy my phone. You must also decide to make those moments of your life count. While you are in a queue at the bank, that’s when you could send a quick “I love you” text to your loved one, determine your shopping list, or read a few lines of an enriching book you might have on you.

In-traffic delay: Traffic situation in Accra gets quite annoying and frustrating sometimes. A simple trip that should last as short as 15 minutes could take over an hour to complete. How can you make the best use of such a situation? If you are driving your own car, that’s when you may want to catch up on radio stuff or play some uplifting audio – music, book, training material, sermon, etc. If you find yourself in public transport – taxi or what we refer to in Ghana as trotro – you may read, meditate or do something else that is practicable and important rather than merely being anxious or angry at the traffic.

REMEMBER that time that has passed is irrecoverable and that there will be moments when circumstances may want to push some of your time under the bridge. That is when you can redeem some time and use it to do a bit of something that you may not have the bulk of time to execute.

© 2011 Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana
http://terrymante.blogspot.com

THE POWER OF SELF-IDENTITY

ITALIAN dramatist and poet Ugo Betti (1892-1953) remarked that, “There is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely.” The greatest success in life is just to be who you are. Apart from being you, you cannot be successful at being anybody else. You can only be the best you. You cannot be the best of your friends, parents or role models. To experience real peace and inner fulfilment, we have to be true to who we are. If you are driven by the desire to be another person, then there would be no need for your existence on earth because you will be a fake. The world has no room for people who are not real. You’ve got to be an original you.

In moving through life, it is important that you come to terms with who you are and live out that identity. There is no way you can make your life count without counting your life. If you don’t say “I am” nobody will say “You are.” Quite often when I meet a person for the first time I introduce myself; I stretch out for a handshake and say something like, “Hello! I am Terry Mante and I am pleased to meet you.” Then the other person normally responds, “Hi Terry! I am pleased to meet you too.” In such a situation, the person is able to call my name because I say “I am Terry Mante.” From then onwards, the person deals with me as Terry. The way you identify yourself determines how the world identifies you and responds to you.

Addled inventor
Identification is your platform for engagement in life. The reason I write and speak is because I have identified myself as an author and speaker. If I had recognised myself as a singer, I would have been making music. In 1854, when Reverend G. B. Engle belittled one of his students as “addled,” the seven-year old boy got infuriated and moved out of the Port Huron Michigan School. He moved out because he did not see himself as addled or confused but he saw himself as an inventor. He did not stay in the school to try to impress his teacher. He moved on to live up to his self-identity. This boy grew up to become the man we all know as Thomas Edison. By the time he died in 1931 at the age of 84, Edison had gone on record as America’s most prolific inventor with over a thousand patents for such marvels as microphone, telephone receiver, record player, motion picture projection, office copiers, incandescent electric light and many more. Don’t accept tags placed on you by others unless they affirm your own self-identity.

Ali, the greatest
Long before he was recognised as Heavyweight Champion of the World, boxing legend Muhammad Ali identified himself as one. He started dreaming about it at 14; he was sure that one day he would be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. At that time his only worry was that he couldn’t “even beat anybody in [his] own gym.” So he asked his trainer Joe Martin, “Can I?” Martin’s response was depressing. Ali narrates in his autobiography that Martin shook his head doubtfully and said, “You hardly weigh a hundred and fifteen pounds soaking wet. You know how big a heavyweight is? Maybe you could be a lightweight.”

But Ali knew his identity. He knew who he was and what he could be. His response to Martin’s remarks was affirmative, “But I want ‘heavyweight.’ Somehow, although no one on either side of my family is that big, I feel I will be.” He moved away from Martin and the next day he began to do things that affirmed the conviction he had of himself. He trained earnestly and watched fights on TV with even keener interest. And now with the benefit of hindsight, we know that Martin was wrong and Ali was right. He did not allow Martins’ definition to inform him. He was driven by his conviction and by 1980 he had become a three-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Put on your own lens
If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others. See yourself through the eyes of your convictions and aspirations. “You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself,” says American author Zig Ziglar.

© Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana
http://terrymante.blogspot.com

PEDESTRIANS, PASSENGERS AND DRIVERS

LIFE is a journey. We move from the point of birth to the point of death. Many of us embark on this journey of life in different capacities and categories. There are pedestrians, passengers and drivers. As you travel through the road of life, it is crucial that you come to terms with the traits of each of these categories of people and decide where you fall.

PEDESTRIANS
TAKE a look at any highway and you’ll see pedestrians. A pedestrian is a person who travels on foot, especially in an area also used by cars. Pedestrians don’t walk in the middle of the road. They avoid getting in the way of the cars on the road. Even when they have to cross the road, they wait for the cars to stop or pass by before they cross. Because of risks and potential dangers on the road, they spend most of their time on the side lines. Some pedestrians specialise in commenting on how people drive and so on.

Likewise, on the highway of life you will find those who walk on the side lines. They like to play it safe. They do not participate in the important issues of life. They like to mind their own business. They believe that if they get involved, they would be knocked down by the cars on the road. Pedestrians are apathetic, unimaginative and uninspired. They play in the realm of conservatism and don’t take initiatives. Worse, they spend a chunk of their time criticising, instead of contributing to what others are doing.

PASSENGERS
PASSENGERS travel in a motor vehicle, train, aircraft or ship, but do not drive or belong to the crew. Nevertheless, they are among those who operate on the highway of life. Typically, passengers sit in a vehicle and end up at wherever the vehicle will deposit them. They do not control the functioning, direction and speed of the vehicle they travel in. But you see, any accident that occurs will have an impact on them.

In a wider perspective, passengers are persons who seemingly participate in life but do not influence the course of events. These are people who only enjoy what is available without making any additions to life. Passengers do not initiate change, progress and development. They just flow with the tide. Any society that is full of passengers will not experience meaningful progress. Such a society will always be at the mercy of their environment.

DRIVERS
ANYBODY can be a pedestrian or passenger. No special skills or qualifications are required to be on the side lines of the street as a pedestrian or get on board a vehicle as a passenger. But then when it comes to driving, one has to attain a minimum legal age, learn the skills of driving and get certified by the licensing authority. This is because driving is no joke. It is serious business. If a driver messes up, it could have devastating effects on the pedestrians, passengers, the driver, the vehicle involved and the wider society.

Drivers call the shots in every society. These are the people we call leaders. They are the movers and shakers of our world. They make things happen. Without such people society will be static, if not retrogressive. If there are no leaders in the society, there will be no meaningful progress. People who take time to develop themselves are able to drive society towards its aspirations.

If everybody decides to be a pedestrian or passenger, how do you think our society will be? It would probably mean that we would all be looking at each other and hoping that somebody would take a step. But if everybody decides to drive, it would imply that everybody is controlling their own destination and influencing an aspect of society. In a vehicle, it is the driver who determines the destination of the vehicle and thus the passengers.

ARE YOU…?
THIS is my task for you. Spend some time alone and consider whether you are a pedestrian, passenger or driver. Assess what your view of life is. Do you think that the government is responsible for your well-being? Or do you see yourself playing any role in life? Ask yourself these and many more questions and identify who you are.


© 2011 by Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana
http://terrymante.blogspot.com

SPIRITUAL CAPITAL

IN Africa and many parts of the world, anything with the word ‘spirit’ or ‘spiritual’ must be about some mystic force beyond the realm of human grasp. To some people it’s a set of ritualistic deeds captured in a frame called religion. But I have come to discover that spirituality is neither about religion nor some mystic powers. Spirituality is you; your innermost self, the real you. It is the centre of your life; the place where everything emanates from. Your spirituality makes a definite statement of who you are and clarifies the existential questions of life. Who am I? Why do I exist? What is my mission on earth? What is the meaning of life? Is there life after death? What kind of person am I? A clear understanding of these issues will converge to constitute your spiritual capital.

THE COMMITMENT OF YOUR LIFE: MISSION
I HAVE often wondered, “Am I just to get an education, get a job, marry someone pretty, have kids, grand kids, grow old and die?” If all I strive to accomplish will land me in death, then why do I work so hard? Is that all life is about? There must be something more compelling and significant than that. I don’t believe that God would create such a complex being as man to just come and wander on earth and go.
Every human life on earth has been tied to something specific. Each person is uniquely shaped to make a specific contribution to the world. That’s why every single person has a unique DNA, differentiated fingerprint, exact voice structure and many other features that are specific to them and is not duplicated in any single person. This implies that throughout the course of human history, there has never been anybody, there is nobody and there will never be anybody like you. You might resemble somebody else but you two are never the same.
This quintessential uniqueness of every human being implies that there is something specific that each of us is created to do. If you fail to live up to it, your life on earth would have been a worthless experience. Any person who recognises this will gain fulfilment and inner peace. The quest for a meaningful life would be reached when you discover what your mission on earth is and decide to harness it.

THE CHARACTER OF YOUR HEART: INTEGRITY
CHARACTER is what you do when nobody sees you. It is what you say that nobody hears. It is the difference between what people think of you and what you think of yourself. It is the difference between what you say to everybody and what you say to yourself; the difference between your public life and your private life. A person with low regard for character is a consistent adherent to the eleventh commandment; “Thou shall not be caught.” Do you cross the red light when the police are not watching? What are the movies you watch when you are alone? If being caught will embarrass you, then you have a character deficit. If you are concerned about being caught, reassess what you are doing and clean yourself up. The value of your human capital will always rise or fall to equate your character.

THE CONVICTION OF YOUR SPIRIT: FAITH
FAITH is firm assurance and belief based on spiritual conviction rather than physical evidence. It is what you hold on to when everything around you crumbles. It is that which will remain standing within you when the world around you collapses. Faith is not a matter of religion. It is an issue of insurance. It’s a belief in God’s power to create, redeem and restore. For me, it is characterized by a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and absolute commitment to His person, principles and power. This gives you stability and resilience.
A person of faith experiences a meaningful life. I share ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair’s view that “The meaning of life cannot be explained by science.” It is faith that does. When you don’t know what to do, your faith will direct you. When you are down, your faith will lift you up. When you are discouraged, your faith will encourage you. When everybody doubts you, your faith will make you believe in yourself.
SPIRITUAL capital is a non-negotiable. As we walk through life, it’s important that we walk with purpose, integrity and faith. These are the values that will stand the test of time. They will prevail in all situations of life. As you build your life, don’t neglect the accumulation of spiritual capital.

© 2011 by Terry Mante
terrymante.blogspot.com

IT'S A BIG DEAL

NOVEMBER 13, 2010. Myanmar’s pro-democracy opposition leader and human rights activist Aung San Su Kyi regained her freedom after seven continuous years under house arrest. Twenty-one years leading up to that time, Su Kyi had spent fifteen years of her life under house arrest. A couple of days after her release, I got the chance to watch an interview she granted the BBC. I must admit that the entire interview was very insightful and inspiring but a particular line struck me. The interviewer asked her, “How does it feel to be free again after seven years?” Her response captured what I consider to be imperative for human development and progress. She remarked, “I have always felt free because I had my books and I could listen to the BBC and read.”
What?! Seven years under house arrest and she always felt free? How is that possible? For Su Kyi, that was possible because she had access to knowledge and information – she could read her books and listen to the BBC. If you are exposed to relevant knowledge and information, you will never feel confined or limited in life. The way to rise above your limitation is to step up your knowledge base. If you want to progress beyond the current level of your life, then extending the boundaries of your knowledge is not an option. It is a must. You must give the acquisition and usage of knowledge an elevated position in your life. Your ignorance limits your horizon. You cannot progress beyond what you know.
So, if you are not learning, then you are limiting yourself. You cannot move beyond your current location to harness the boundless opportunities that exist in the world. As a matter of fact, before you can take advantage of any opportunity, you have to know about it. Then, you have to know what is needed to nib it in the bud. You see! If you don’t know, you can’t pursue.
Thus in today’s world, what you know and what you don’t know is a real BIG DEAL. You cannot achieve beyond the level of your knowledge. The reason you are behind is the information you don’t have. And it will take relevant knowledge to leap you from the back to the front. If you see yourself to be in front, it’s because you possess some knowledge that those behind don’t have. You must constantly update your knowledge to keep leading.
So, what constitutes your knowledge base? Four components – Information, insight, observation and experience.
1. Information. Each day of our lives, somebody tells us something, either directly or indirectly. We hear stuff from our family members, our friends, colleagues at work and mates in the classroom. We listen to the news, we read statements by politicians and journalists, and our pastors preach to us. When somebody tells you something, what you hear becomes part of what you know. Information is the knowledge we have in our heads. It refers to facts we have accumulated about phenomena, persons or places. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Once something is in your brain, it’s information; even if you’ve not seen any evidence.

2. Insight. Insight takes you deeper into what you already know. It processes information you already have and gives you understanding. Insight is the ability to see; except that you see not just with your natural eyes but with your mind’s eye as well. Seeing with your mind’s eye involves prying the surface to unravel the hidden meaning of an idea or concept. You do that by asking why, how, what, who, when and/or where. When you see something with your mind’s eye, it gives you understanding and helps you to establish a conviction. It carves your perspective.

3. Observation. When you look around, what do you see? What impression do you get? What ideas come to your mind? Do you get any inspiration? Things that happen around us can draw our minds to issues and phenomena we might never have considered. They open our eyes to opportunities we must harness and challenges to confront. You must not be in a place and close your eyes to things happening around. Be alert to your environment.

4. Experience. I was chilled when CNN named Anuradha Koirala as CNN Hero of the Year 2010. At age 9 or 10 (she’s not so sure), Koirala became a victim of child trafficking. She went through shock and torture whenever she refused to sleep with any of the about 30 men she was supposed to service each day. She eventually got redeemed from it and since then she has dedicated her life to educating people about child trafficking. It was in recognition of her commitment to expunging child trafficking and abuse that CNN acknowledged her as a hero. Experiences are real. It’s important that we don’t take our experiences for granted. They constitute an essential segment of our knowledge base. Let Anuradha Koirala be your hero too; let your experience build your knowledge package and inform your engagement in life.
The educated or knowledgeable are people who pack information, open it up with their senses of perception and understanding and relate such knowledge with what is happening around them. Ultimately, such people test their knowledge through experience and application to their day-to-day endeavours.

By Terry Mante
© 2011 Accra, Ghana
terrymante.blogspot.com

FROM SUCCESS TO SIGNIFICANCE

CALCUTTA IS the capital of West Bengal state and one of India’s largest cities. In this city lived a woman who was well-known and highly-respected, both within India and across the globe. She was not known to be rich but she made a lot of impact; Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu (1910-1997)! You probably know her as Mother Teresa. From 1948 until her death in 1997, the Albanian-born nun devoted her life to helping the poor and the sick of Calcutta and other parts of India and the world at large. She founded Missionaries of Charities and opened shelter for dying people. Teresa lived for the under-privileged in society. Her life counted for the worn out, weak and weary. She was not wealthy but her life brought a wealth of hope, joy and inner peace to millions of people.
Now you! How will your story be told when the time comes? What meaning have you ascribed to your life? Are you just living to be successful? Success means getting what you desire out of life. So if a politician desires to win an election and goes on to win, that could be described as success. A student who passes an examination may be described as successful. But you see, the problem with success is that it is too narrow – if not selfish. More than becoming successful, we’ve got to make our lives count. We must aspire to be significant. Instead of seeing the world in terms of what we can get, we must see the world in terms of what we can give; how many people we can touch. I see Ben Franklin’s reflection that "I would rather have it said 'he lived usefully' than 'he died rich'" apt and witty. More than just words, it was the way Franklin lived his life. One example of his useful nature was the invention of the Franklin stove. Instead of patenting it and keeping it to himself, Ben Franklin decided to share his invention with the world. Leadership expert John Maxwell also posits that, “If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, and adding value to others, then you're living a life that counts!” A life that counts is a significant one that flows into the lives of others.
We can all become significant in various ways but here are three brief pointers on becoming significant.
• Discover your purpose. No one is on earth just to wander about or to add up to the numbers. We all have an assignment to fulfil, an answer to a question, a solution to a problem and a provision for a need. Every person on the face of the earth has a contribution to make. We make that contribution when we fulfil our purpose. Discovering and fulfilling our purpose is the vehicle by which we impact our world and add value to other lives.
• Develop your talent. A talent is an inborn ability that inclines us to perform certain tasks without necessarily being taught. To be able serve people with your talent effectively, you must find ways to sharpen it. This can be done via reading, regular engagement, mentorship and collaboration.
• Deploy yourself. You make great impact when you step out with confidence in what God has given you. If you don’t step out you can’t give out. Decide to release yourself unto your generation and you will have moved beyond success to significance.
Significance is attained when we allow what is inside us to come out to benefit others. Nelson Mandela’s conviction that South Africa could be free led him to fight for his country’s liberation. Thomas Edison’s quest for significance ushered us into the modern age of electricity. Jesus Christ’s passion for significance led Him to sacrifice to attain redemption for the entire human race. Those guys who offer assistance when the traffic light breaks down are expressing their significance through public spiritedness. Success is good but it is largely personal and could get selfish. Significance, on the other hand, is driven by the public good and it is selfless. It is better to be significant than to be successful. Success is great but we need to share our success with the world in order to be significant.

http://terrymante.blogspot.com
© 2010 Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana

A STORY THAT CHANGED THE ENTIRE WORLD

BY Terry Mante
March 2009
Accra, Ghana
Culled from http://terrymante.blogspot.com

THE ANTECEDENT OF EASTER

According to the Bible, God created the world and everything that constitutes it. He crowned His creation with human beings at the commanding heights. Our role was to partner with God to rule His kingdom. God wanted us to superintend the physical realm on His behalf. He gave us sufficient authority to dominate the earth as well as maintain and harness all the elements and resources of the earth. Somewhere along the line, we lost our guard and ceded our authority to another force. It then became necessary for God to repossess what man had relinquished. He sent His Son Jesus to carry out that mission.



THE MISSION OF EASTER

Jesus came to reclaim and repossess what man had given away. His intention was to restore us to our dignified position in life. Jesus’ operation on earth was to give us dominion over demonic forces and all the storms of life. The birth of Jesus was an announcement of a new dawn in human existence. His death symbolised the end of our bondage to elements of darkness. It marked the end of ignorance and insecurity in the mind and heart of man. It does not end there. Three days after His death, Jesus returned from the dead. He vanquished death; having done that He set the stage for our restoration. All the conditions necessary to put us back to our privileged position had been met.



THE OCCASION OF EASTER

Every year, when we celebrate Easter, we try to accentuate the mission of Jesus. We remember what Jesus did to restore our dignity. While we may want to go to the beach, play some games or participate in various church activities during Easter, we should not lose consciousness over its real essence. This year, as we celebrate the occasion, it must not just be a holiday; we should determine to make it a holy day. We must realise that the significance of Easter is to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. We have to be aware of how His death and resurrection influence our destiny.



THE PEOPLE OF EASTER

Somehow, Easter has come to be seen as a festival for Christians. Well, my own view is that Easter is a festival for humanity. At the time Jesus died, there was no Christianity. Christianity evolved only after Jesus had resurrected and ascended to heaven. Christianity as a religion is a creation of man. Easter is for every person who desires to have a meaningful existence. It is for people who are seeking to live a dignified life. Anybody who accepts what Jesus did qualifies to be part of Easter. If you acknowledge that the death and resurrection of Jesus was to give you a meaningful and dignified life, then you are the person of Easter; you have cause to celebrate and give thanks to God.



EVERYDAY IS EASTER

What Jesus did for us has daily significance. It is not exclusively useful to us during Easter. It benefits us every time; even when we are dead. It stands to reason that each day of our lives we acknowledge what He did for us. We must always walk in the consciousness that we have been redeemed by God through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Easter is not just an occasion, it’s a daily celebration.

AN UNSINKABLE SHIP

BY TERRY MANTE

A COUPLE of years ago, a dear friend of mine sent me a text message that “There is only one unsinkable ship; it is friendship.” Even though within the context that the message was drafted and sent to me, it was meant to communicate a specific idea, I have come to appreciate this from a wider perspective. True friendship never sinks irrespective of the intensity of the tide that pushes against it. A great friendship is one that stands the test of time; goes through challenges and emerges firm and progressive. This week, my main task so far as this column is concerned is to express seven ingredients that characterise stable and unsinkable friendships.

1. Acquaintance: Friendships evolve from the foundation of acquaintance. An acquaintance is someone you know at the periphery. The impressions you get from your acquaintances help you to determine whether or not to proceed to establish a more intimate relationship with people.

2. Affirmation: Affirmation is the honest admission of what you recognise in a person. In any real friendship, the parties involved strive to accept people based on who they are. They are comfortable with each other’s strong points and definitely not embarrassed with their shortcomings and weaknesses. There is no insecurity as a result of somebody’s successes or strengths. Affirmation reinforces people’s strengths and inspires continuous progress. Any relationship that expects to sail through the storm without sinking must have a good dose of affirmation; a situation where each other’s strengths and personality are acknowledged.

3. Association: By association, I’m referring to the interactions you have with your friends as well as memories you have of them. Good friends spend quality time together and enjoy each other’s company. They create landmarks that serve as souvenir banks for the relationship.

4. Alliance: A friend is an ally. An ally is someone you cooperate with to achieve an aim. Friends collaborate to elevate each other on life’s ladder. They join forces to pursue ambitious tasks together. This boosts relationships and gives magnitude and direction to the relationship. Strategic alliances strengthen you and enhance your leverage in life.

5. Assistance: Apart from all that we’ve discussed, another key attribute of good relationships is mutual assistance. Whereas alliance is about things you do together, assistance is limited to help that you receive for your personal endeavours. Do your friends support you to achieve your personal tasks? What role do you also play when your friend is pursuing their own goals? Good relationships have mechanisms to help one with their pursuits of life.

6. Allegiance: Loyalty and commitment are essential hallmarks of every enduring relationship. You can’t have a lasting relationship with anyone if there is no assurance of commitment and trust. Each party in any relationship should be trustworthy. There should be an unshakable confidence on the part of your friend that you could be relied upon and vice versa. Where the spirit of allegiance prevails, there is trust and trust is a key sustainability factor in friendships.

7. Affection: Affection is the fondness and tenderness of feeling that you have towards another person or thing. It is that sensation that becomes the breeding ground for love. It is a necessary component of friendship. When allegiance, assistance, alliance, association, affirmation and acquaintance fail, affection is the fuel that will keep the relationship running. The intensity of affection in any relationship determines its elasticity.

When I was younger, I read a piece in a magazine that said that the word ‘friend’ is a contracted form of the words ‘free’ and ‘end.’ What the writer of that article sought to put across was that friendship has a free end. In other words, true friendship has no end. My interpretation then was that true friendship was one that had no end in communication; a relationship that continues for life. This has some validity but growing up, I have come to realise that significant friendship is one that makes a landmark impact on you. The impact of such a relationship lingers and sometimes has ripple effect on several vital aspects of your life. Certain principles and lessons you imbibe from some of your friends might be useful even in their absence. Having a true friend does not necessarily imply that you will have permanent contact but its significance may be eternal.
This week, do a “friends check” and discover who your true friends are.


© February 2009
Terry Mante

How to Develop a Positive Attitude

CHINESE philosopher Confucius profoundly stated that, “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” Many people want to do things that will impact significantly on the world. Confucius encourages us that such aspirations are not far-fetched but have a point of beginning. It starts with us; setting our hearts right, developing a positive attitude. A positive attitude will put us on the path that leads to the destination we desire. In this series, we shall consider five actions that can be taken to develop a positive attitude towards life. Before we dive into that, let’s form a common perspective on the subject under discussion; Attitude. There are three perspectives that I would like us to contemplate;

· Paradigm: When you pour water into a container, it assumes the shape of that object. Water has no shape of its own without a container. Your mind is the container that receives all your experiences and carves out your life. Your paradigm refers to how your mind has been set to respond to issues and interpret the realities of your life. Situations that confront us in life are neither adverse nor advantageous by themselves but settle in the patterns and systems by which we run our lives.

· Interpretation: When you wear a lens, every object within your scope of view takes on the colour of the lens. When you put on a blue-tinted lens, every object you observe through the lens may appear bluish. The realities of life cannot be changed but you can have your own interpretation. Before you form your conclusion about any issue, just ask yourself, “What is the colour of my lens?”

· Response: You don’t have so much control over what happens to you but you can certainly determine your response to what happens to you. Irrespective of what happens, it is always possible to choose your response. When you fall, you can choose to either remain down or rise up. How you choose your responses determines the impact situations have on you.

Here are five suggestions regarding how you can develop a positive attitude:

1. Fashion your mind for success: Former US President Abraham Lincoln advised a young man who aspired to study law to “always bear in mind that your own ambition to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If your ambition is positive, it will drive you to a positive destination. You cannot succeed in anything if you don’t make your mind up to succeed.

2. Filter what goes into your heart. The state of your heart is a direct result of the nature of its content. What you feed your life with is very crucial to determining what your attitude is. What books do you read? Which programmes do you listen to on radio? What is your favourite programme on TV? Who preaches to you every Sunday? You can’t have a disposition that is inconsistent with what you’ve been ingesting. You must filter every bit of information that comes to your gate and allow only what is beneficial to you to settle in your heart. By so doing, you progressively create a sense of optimism within you. Your perspective brightens and your general outlook on life will be embodied in a positive frame work.

3. Find great company. Good company enhances great values. The people around you determine the attitudes you nurture. To develop a positive attitude, you must have positive people around you. If you want to maintain sexual purity for instance, your closest friends should be people who esteem premarital abstinence, faithfulness to one’s spouse and sexual discipline. If there is such company around you, it offers the platform to share challenges, discuss practical initiatives and encourage each other.

Having people who believe in your potential also help you to have a positive mindset. If your best friends are those who do not believe in your future and have a low estimation of your capabilities, then you would do yourself a lot of good by replacing them. You have to hang around those who help you realise the possibilities of your life and inspire you with hope and confidence.

4. Focus on the good in any situation. Just as every coin has two sides, so does every situation have two faces. I learnt from Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do that success is failure turned inside out. Sometimes, people lose out of lifetime opportunities because they do superficial assessment of situations. Thomas Alva Edison categorically pointed out that, “Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Just because something does not look good does not make it absolutely awful. You must look for a little good and give it your maximum attention.

5. Foster a daily attitude of positiveness: Developing a positive attitude is not an event but a process. It cannot be done in a day but must be done daily. To consolidate a new attitude, one positive action at a time, an encouraging book, a new friend...at one time or another would culminate in the kind of person you want to be; little by little, here a little, there a little. Start small and you’ll end big!

“You cannot be healthy; you cannot be happy; you cannot be prosperous; if you have a bad disposition,” remarks, Emmet Fox. I trust that you will keep navigating the path of positivity.


© February 2009 Terry Mante
http://terrymante.blogspot.com

YES, YOU CAN WALK ON WATER

HAVE you ever seen anybody defy the law of floatation to walk on the surface of water? In recent history I haven’t seen or heard anybody do that but from the Bible, I’ve read a scenario where Jesus walked on water to join His disciples on a watercraft in the middle of a lake. This happened at a time when the winds were blowing contrary to the direction of the sail. When the disciples saw Jesus initially, they were terrified. Jesus assuaged their fears and assured them that there was nothing to worry about. He then invited Peter, one of His disciples to approach Him by walking on the water. So long as Peter focused on Jesus, He stayed afloat. The moment he turned to look at the contrary winds, Peter began to sink. Considering that we are still in the morning of the new year I will like to bring to light some lessons inherent in this scenario and link them to our journey throughout the year.

1. Uncertainty is part of life’s routine. Stepping into a new year is like attempting to walk on water. You cannot precisely predict everything that will happen in the year. Some people are very upbeat while others are pessimistic. I’m sure there are others who do not know what to expect. Whatever it is, any prediction we have is mere expectation. Since we do not have sovereign control over all occurrences of life, we cannot be cocksure that our expectations will spring forth into manifestation. If you are anxious about how the year is going to be for you, it’s normal. My only advice is that, don’t be ruled by your anxiety.

2. You can do extraordinary things. There is no extraordinary person on the face of the earth but ordinary people do extraordinary things. Success is no respecter of persons. If Jesus walked on water, we may want to attribute that to His divine personality. How then do we explain Peter’s toddle on the water? He was an ordinary fisherman who decided to take a bold step toward his dream – his dream was to get to Jesus. He stepped onto the water not knowing what to expect. Nevertheless, he made it. Between where you stand and your dream is an uncertain path. What you need to do is to tread that path. It’s a path that you can travel on. No matter how unstable, uncertain or risky it may seem, you need to get going.

3. The storms will come. When Barack Obama publicly announced his intention to go at the presidency, political pundits wrote him off. However, he braved the odds and eventually blazed the trail to become America’s first African-American president. It was a fierce battle with then Senator Hillary Clinton. On the campaign trail, he captivated the world with his oratory, camaraderie, confidence and insight. All that display was in spite of smear campaign hurled at him by his opponents and irresponsible statements made by key members of his campaign team. Those were President Obama’s storms. You will face yours too but...

4. Keep your eyes on your goals. So long as Peter kept his eyes on his goal, he stayed afloat the water. The moment he looked at the storm, he began to sink. My friend, it’s important that you keep your eyes on your goals. While driving, if a driver turns away to stare at an accident scenario on the side of the road, you can almost predict what is likely to happen. The vehicle might run into another vehicle in front or a pedestrian who happens to be passing by. So long as the driver keeps his eyes on the windscreen he’ll be fine on the road. Don’t allow your challenges to distract you. You must determine that no matter what happens, you will not throw your dreams away. No matter how enormous your obstacles are, you’ll preserve your dreams.

This year, I want you to believe in yourself. Believe that you’ve got what it takes to make your dreams a reality. You have time, talent, opportunity and the grace of God. The power to succeed resides in you. Like Peter, step out with confidence!




© March 2009 Terry Mante
http://terrymante.blogspot.com